The JAF Song
I wrote this song in lieu of an essay for a college class, much to the consternation of the professor, who dubbed it "The Ballad of a Wan Cynic’s Chic"
Key of G
D B1-B/ B A/ | G1-G/ G F/ E | F/ G E/ D1-D/ |
D D/ B1-B/ B | B/ d d/ c | B/ A3-A/ |
D B B/ B A/ | G G/ G F/ | E F/ G E/ D1-D/ |
D D/ B B/ | B B/ A A/ | A A/ G3
G C G
A long time ago, a man was named Plato
His thoughts are as ancient as his bones
He said the truth is out there
But he never said quite where
So we’re left to wonder where the forms are found.
So let’s just drink our beer,
And let it not come near
Let’s not think about it anymore.
G C G
Faith and reason, it’s all so out of season
G D7 G
Comes God or brain after or before?
Next came Aristotle, he should have sipped the bottle
He was a moralist right true.
He said we needed virtue,
And that the vices hurt you.
But if you hold your breathe your face turns blue.
Is it good to be alone and call brother monks your own,
As Saint Benedict would have us think?
Is the life of the mind worth leaving all behind
Or should we live in slothful luxury?
I once read a man, whose name was St. Augustine
He said "Credo ut intelligam"
Sed ego non credo, ergo non intelligo.
Quomodo credo si non intelligavi?
’Twas John Calvin said, man’s goodness is all dead
His reason is corrupt and all depraved.
But I don’t believe him, I think he’s got flawed reasons
Why should an apple knock us in the head?
Old man Aquinas, I’m so glad he is behind us
His view of nature was so high
His God orders all, even as before the fall,
But tales of evil simply are too tall.
And Dante pictured hell, and he did it just as well
With everyone and their brother there.
Although it is quite crude to be tortured in the nude
Politicians must ensure the bad guys fell.
Now let us see Descartes, if he’s not been blown apart
Into inside and outside by his thoughts
He said if we see stuff, we will never know enough
To prove we know even one small part.
Was Milton’s apple puce, could it be made to juice?
Is it the same crime to drink as to eat?
With the serpent he entwined all his wisdom and the rhyme
Leaving Man and God to claim the second place
Old Blaise has not my praise
He was silly anyways
His rambling thoughts just do not persuade
If we must place a bet, I’ve got one better yet
Let’s just sit doing nothing all our days
Kierkegaard was weird; many lives he’s seared
With his nonsense about the leap of faith.
My jumping is all done and my legs won’t even run
And the paradox no longer has a place.
Peter Berger said that modernity was led
by the factors of pluralization
He himself has claimed to be a heretic in name
And his structures of belief now are fragile.
Now all we’ve got is science; in it we place reliance
But it cannot satisfy our deepest thoughts.
It’s all energy and atoms, but why it cannot fathom—
So we call our God to fill the gaps once more!